don't take too long.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

just a few days ago it was thursday, and now it's sunday. time is passing way way too quickly. block leave is flying past way too quickly.

there's this sudden wave of saddness and fear in me i guess. once block leave is over, school starts. i dont know how that will turn out. and now that it's block leave, everyday i get to spend it in the company of someone i will not get bored of. and someone who can make me giggle and laugh all the time. it's wonderful and amazing how it happens. it's like magic in the air. but soon, such too good to be true moments are going to end.

and before i know it, a dear friend is leaving for Canada. one more less person to call upon when i need someone. one more less person to hug. and one more person being so far far away. it's like some joke where suddenly a few of my close friends just have to leave. poof. disappear. sigh.

i hope uni will be good. i cannot wait for the next block leave. hurry hurr may jan 15 come.

i will always miss you, kat.
you light up my world.

i believe in something called love.

8/08/2010 08:50:00 PM

it's been so so long since i update. i just decided to because i was just looking through old photos, videos.. etc. and things have changed so so much, with time, things change, for better and worse. we slowly realise who are the people we can depend on. and as we do so, we will all notice a decrease in numbers. or maybe it's just me. that ii'm so difficult to get along with or that i am so insecure about everything that it is so difficult for me to let my guard down and enjoy.

even though some friends are not exactly the closest person to me, i am still thankful to have them in a phase of my life. to hold my hand and walk me through that challenging phase. but as i move on, i think i want to make things a little different, i want to keep friends and stop being so fussy and difficult. what i have may be sufficient. but hey, a little more wont kill right?

with the cruelties of life, it's difficult to trust and depend on people. and at the same time, it's difficult to find people that can and will understand you for you. not forgetting, as the world gets more cruel, we get more self centred. we too do not understand individuals for who they are. we become quicker to judge and discriminate, slower to love and understand.

maybe that will be my new challenge. to reverse and resist what the world has caused us to be, naturally. ironically, natural is supposedly the best. well, not in huamn relationships i guess.

i'll never let go of family and people i hold dear to my heart. but at the same time, im going to try to love and care for more people.

to the people that has been giving me unconditional love, thank you.

to the people that i will try to understand and love, please be patient with me.

to the people that has been distant from me, im sorry.

to you, i love you.

i believe in something called love.

7/26/2010 10:56:00 PM

i think i finally know what i've been longing for.
i've been longing for those childish in love moments.

moments like marking out your calender with pretty heart shaped things. doing cards and writing little love letters. i think somehow these inner-child like things make love so very special and exciting. not to say that being in love isnt good. i think when we start taking each other and everything for granted after a while we will find that something is missing somehow somewhere.

i long to just cuddle up and not say anything. have you brush my fringe or touch me face. twirl my hair and so very sillyly get your fingers caught in them. and in the attempt to get them out, you tug at my hair. remember those times where we would do the smallest of things for each other just to make the day a little more special?

well, it's neither of our fault that we no longer have the time to let that inner-child of us surface. but i hope we will hold on to whatever we have and believe that things will be okay.

some part of me hopes that we can start building our lives TOGETHER. there's a difference in building our lives TOGETHER and building our lives with each other.

the former refers to creating lots of memories together. the latter refers to creating memories of each other. when the latter attitude is adapted, inevitably you will find it suffocating because you have no time to create other memories.

confusing? maybe. maybe in the process of trying to be selfish i am actually being selfish. how contradictory.

i believe in something called love.

4/07/2010 11:09:00 PM

pray for me. please.

i believe in something called love.

3/03/2010 10:56:00 PM

it's been a while since i've actually written something here. i dont know why but i just feel like it today.

best friends was what we assumed each other to be. or rather i assumed. having that special bond was what i thought we had. but apparently not. all this while it's been nothing but bullshit and just me trying to build things up and sustain things.

but i guess things are clearer and i no longer see a point in holding on to something that isnt worth it. there's no point holding on the 'the special part' that i thought existed. when actually it doesnt. so taking a step back i've been holding on to nothing.

letting go has always been a problem for me. i never could let go in live. im always tense. but i guess i just have to. in order to full appreciate everything i have now and be fair to those who actually share something with me, i first need to let go of all the meaningless and blurred friendships.

i believe in something called love.

3/01/2010 06:27:00 PM

i hate this feeling.
i actually feel guilty for feelin:g this way.

maybe im too selfish. or maybe im reacting to how i really feel.

i just dont like this feeling to eat me up from inside :(

i believe in something called love.

1/17/2010 10:08:00 PM

havent blogged in a while. been quite lazy. nothing much has been happening actually. im just glad the damn A levels are over and "doing nothing" is all i have to do everyday. it's wayyyyy better than studying. and yea i kinda am just enjoying life right now.

watching videos. planning christmas party.. etc.

and soon it'll be CHRISTMAS!

someone surprise me with strawberries sand icing sugar pleaseeeee. i feel like having those right now.

oh well. one of the few and probably the only one that will do that is in taiwan nowwww :(

goodnight people. time for my 12 hour nap.

i believe in something called love.

12/11/2009 02:01:00 AM

this feeling feels like....

a burst of happiness from within
you wish it'll never end
you want to relive it everyday
it leaves a lingering ssmile on your face
it keeps replaying in your mind
and you're just so thankful for it you look forward to the next time.
too good to be true

beneth everything, when you're all alone at night, longing for that specific happiness makes you feel even lonlier.

one whoole chicken and sun tanning, soon

i believe in something called love.

11/25/2009 11:42:00 PM

when each word pierce like darts, i really dont know what to do or what to say. except show that poker face even though im bleeding inside.

but then again, you dont really care anyway because you've found a new centre in your life. and i
thought i was the centre, the source. maybe i over estimate myself. maybe im too idealistic.

but at the end of the day, i'd ask you, is it all worth it?

i believe in something called love.

11/14/2009 07:49:00 PM

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

shit, their starting christmas without me

i believe in something called love.

11/11/2009 09:30:00 PM

all hands on deck. waking ashland

All Hands on deck

Dont abandon the ship

You'll never know what it could have been

All hands on deck

My ship is sinking

Dont let me go

Dont let me drown

A step to the right

To your own rhythm

Cause what comes next

Is up to you

And I need a miracle

To save me from this

And i need the angels

To all pray for me

I cant believe you

All Hands on deck

Dont abandon the ship

You'll never know what it could have been

All hands on deck

My ship is sinking

Dont let me go

Dont let me drown

Another day

Another worry

Breaks right through

And indecision bleeds me dry

And shes turning pages

I'm not making for her

And shes painting pictures

Without me in mind

I can't believe you

All Hands on deck

Dont abandon the ship

You'll never know what it could have been

All hands on deck

My ship is sinking

Dont let me go

Dont let me drown

All Hands on deck

Dont abandon the ship

You'll never know what it could have been

All hands on deck

My ship is sinking

Dont let me go

Dont let me drown

the long walks on moon light beach

the promises you could not keep

Your so contagious

Your so contagiousfor all the world we did not see

for all the smiles you gave to me

theyre so contagious so contagious

so very fake

All Hands on deck

dont abandon the ship

youll never know what it could have been

all hands on deck

my ship is sinking

dont let me go

dont let me drown

~~goodbye to you~~

i'll run this race alone if you dont wanna run it with me. i know i can do it if i force myself to. but whether i want to is another story. you left when i needed someone the most. to fend for myself, again. all i could do was sit there, look at myself and draw strength from within because suddenly, my source of strength as turned away. and all i had was myself.

i believe in something called love.

10/09/2009 03:48:00 PM

new address. hopefully it'll remind me to leave everything and move on. yes i probably have. but maybe ther'es this part that hasnt. even though this part hasnt moved on. i need to stop letting this part affect the rest of me. it's mot good.

ribbons and balloons. one represnts restriction one represent freedom. their both pretty and makes me happy somehow. of course the right amount at the right time.

i need to disappear from all that nonsense.

i believe in something called love.

9/26/2009 11:10:00 PM

funny how sometimes the most important things or even people can become unimportant. and when you finally realise their important ur not important to them.

never take thngs for granted. everything goes in one circle. whatever you send off will just come back to you attacking you from the back when you least expect it.

i believe in something called love.

9/25/2009 02:39:00 PM

the orelim break is about to end. and studying has to begin all over again. i pray that prelim results will be more than fine and i pray that i wont get distracted by anything else.

for now, everything has to wait. A levles first.

i only have one chance to make it right. one chance to write my future. and one chance to make the mark so i can do what i want to do.

studying. loving. holding on tight. above all, have faith in the Lord and all will be good.

i believe in something called love.

9/20/2009 09:05:00 PM

life may not always go as well as we want it to go.

but so long as we're appreciative of whatever we have, we'll realise that what we have is unique and secone to none :)

i believe in something called love.

9/17/2009 08:35:00 PM

please dont let me fend for myself.

i dont want to.

i believe in something called love.

9/08/2009 09:58:00 PM

"never make a decision you'll regret"

that is one of the principles i TRY to live by and i constantly remind myself of it.

"even if you feel like you've made a wrong decision, make the full use of it because what's done is done"

i try to live by that too.
but i suppose inn the process of either, confusion and hurt kicks in once in a while. where you wonder what would happened if you've made a different decision. sometimes i feel like the decision is right sometimes i feel like it's wrong. no 2 routes will give you the same feeling. but sometimes while being on one route i do wonder what the other will be like.

i dont know i if i ever want to be on the other route but i do wonder what it'll be like. i know it's oartially wrong because i should focus and make the best out of this route, but i suppose i cant help it.

the worst part of everything?
it's difficult to tell anyone because it's difficult for anyone to comprehend.

i believe in something called love.

9/06/2009 09:48:00 AM

You envy others, but you are also confident about yourself. But sometimes you wish you could be confident about yourself without the masks. You clean before... people come over, even though you are typically a mess. You dress up or wear revealing clothes, show off your tan, tattoos, and body, because you feel like it will get attention and make you feel worth something. Sexiness is something you value, but you really want to be admired for your heart. You want someone to see through the masks and love you for you, but you sometimes don't know who that person is and you fear opening up to someone because you don't want to be hurt. You wish you could be like someone else, trade places just for a day, to see what it's like to be perfect. You like lists and getting things done, but you rarely finish them. You want to be loved, so badly, for who you are and you're just waiting for the right person to show you that it's okay to rest in who you were made to be, and not who you are always trying to be..

-facebook

i believe in something called love.

9/05/2009 09:58:00 PM

the worst part about everything is i dont even know if im the only feeling it or everyone else just chooses to ignore and be ignorant and nochalant about everything. or does he really think ulitimately it will turn out okay and we'll all be happy and appreciative?

i dont know. i've heard the phrase "you'll never understand and appreciate till you grow up" a thousand times. i've heard it since i could understand words. am i grown up yet? if i am, i dont see myself appreciating and understanding any shit any time soon.

it's frustrating and spoils any happy mood. just because YOU are and idiot and refue to change and adapt to times, you make everyone suffer. you make everyone shut their doors on you. and you wonder why we're bias against you. im surprise you dont even know the asnwer yourself. we can hardly have a proper conversation without it ending with an argument or me being so annoyed i cannot be bothered.

we all need to somehow wake up from this idea that everything will be okay. and YOUR fairytale happily ever afgter dream will come true. at the rate things are going, it'll never come true and you can really look forward to living in isolation.

all this while you think money is do damn fucking important. let me tell you, it isnt as important as you think it is. if it can bring you happiness, good for you. but let me tell you money cannot buy relationships and love. you can go live in your own world and soak yourself in money.

and stop thinking you've given alot. we all know how much you've given. and ultimately if you have 100 units and only give 1 unit, it's not a big sacrifice. so for goodness sake, stop making yourself out to be so noble and great. i feel like throwing up.

lastly, stop using God on all of us when you ont even believe in it's existence. it just makes you a manipulative hypocrite. and the fact that i can see through that, you suck as one. stop pretending and maybe start being less sensitive and over reactive before thinking about even having a day together. nobody wants to spend a day with you because it ends up in you telling us how wrong we are and how we suck and how we should learn from you. sorry im not going to learn from you cos i dont wanna end up like you.

before you think im a bitch, i dont think you know what's going on in the first place. it frustrates you and tears you up inside. like i said, i still respect. but only because i have to. it's not a won over respect. it's a respect given by obligation.

i believe in something called love.

8/29/2009 09:05:00 PM

fridayyyy! i looooveeee friday!! but shit. prelims are in like a week. i doubt i'll actually do well for my prelims actually. i dont know why. i dont feel confident at all :( oh well. just study. have faith in God and hope for the best i suppose.

dinner at royals and ice cream chef. strawberry and cream with kinder bueno and browniessss! im so full. i'll probably start gaining more weight!

STUDY tomorrow.sigh.

dear God, i pray that i'll be able to focus well tomorrow.

i didnt need to say yes cos i never really said no.

i believe in something called love.

8/21/2009 10:51:00 PM

maybe all i need to do it let go. let go then i'll feel better. stop holding on to something that may not save my life at the end of the day. let go and i can fully experience the free fall. i'll live somehow. i know it. but for now, maybe i should just let go and let myself do a free fall instead of holding on to something that might not save me.

i dont know what's wrong. i need to.. scream. eat ice cream. buy balloons. go shopping and blow bubbles.

im so fucking tired.

studied with claud today. havent studied with her in ages.
3 weeks to prelim. come on, you can do it.

i believe in something called love.

8/10/2009 06:15:00 PM

take your life into your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame
Erica Jong

more often than not,most of us try to take control of our own life. thinking that our fate is in our hands and that what we create out of our own will will be what lies ahead of us. i somehow support that idea of creating your own future. but i use to doubt the fact that you have to do it alone. i use to believe that we can always do it with someone. depend on someone, a close friend, a family member or anyone to build it and create it with us.

today, i was thinking and im starting to drift from that thinking.
truth is, nobody will stand by you forever. we may find someone that will be willing to, but there's always this risk of that person walking out on you. leaving you behind. to fend for yourself, all alone. then you realise you have nobody to turn to. nobody to confide in and nobody to lean on. not only may someone walk out on us, we may walk out on people without even knowing it.

building it on your own, creating your own future seems to be the way sometimes cos then you will never walk out on yourself. it's either you succeed or you fail. both ways, you stand within yourself and all hope and strength will come from within you instead of from someone else. that way, you'll never be abandoned cos you cannot abandon yourself.

but what about not having anyone to blame? to begin with, we should never blame anyone. everything happens for a reason. leave it to God and you'll never need to blame anyone. simply because God's plan is perfect and He has his reasons.

i was just reading my previous posts and i see a contrast. i use to be hopeful, optimistic and happy about future and sharing it with someone. but somehow now i feel the total opposite. yea i do wish to share it with someone, but i've partially given up hoping.

i just have to keep wishing and pray that im wishing on the right star.

shit i need to snap out of all this.

once again, fireworks appearing oh so far away
therefore, a dream left unfulfilled.

i believe in something called love.

8/09/2009 09:57:00 PM

friday night. a time for me to take my mind off things and just.. have fun. i did have fun. my arms are aching from wii boxing. and i tell you, it really does help if you need to vent frustrations.

someone, please, hold me, love me and tell me you'll always be there to protect me.

maybe i yearn for that too much. maybe i should stop.

if there's any sparkle in the eyes, it must be the tears.

i believe in something called love.

8/08/2009 06:24:00 PM

lost it.
lose it.
lost.

i believe in something called love.

8/06/2009 08:28:00 PM

dreams. we make them we destroy them. we can see them hear them and feel them. yet at the same time we cannot. dreams make us or break us. we all have dreams. we try to go after our dreams. sometimes we fail sometimes we succeed. when we succeed, the glory and victory is priceless. when we fail, we hold onto our dream. sometimes we fail ourselves. but our dreams never fail us. our dreams are what we make them out to be. and what we make them out to be is what we want. now, hold on to that dream you've created. for it's precious. so dear to your heart that only you know what it's like, how it sounds and how it will feel.

promises. are they lies with pretty ribbons tied to them? or are they really something we can hold on to? it gives hope yet at the same time it can suffocate hope. they assure you about what's to come even though you dont know if they exist or not. it will assure you as much as you want yourself to to assured. and there are endless promises. but the one true promise is the one that will strike a resounding chord in your heart, mind and soul. the eternal promise is the one that you make to yourself.

i have many many dreams and you're one of them.
promise you'll not wreck it?

i believe in something called love.

8/05/2009 08:53:00 PM

i cant believe it. 5 weeks to prelim. it's happening. i cant believe it's REALLY happening. im quite scared. and sometimes i just feel like falling.. falling into dont know where.

i feel this saddness and happiness and uncertainty mixed.

today i realised something. nothing ever beats being independent. relying on nobody but yourself. people who promise they will be there.. etc. yadda yadda will never really be there to love and comfort. friends, family, lovers.. yes, they play a significant part in your life. they make you happy they accompany you when ur downright lonely and need a pair of arms sometimes, one day you'll find that only yours will permanently be with you.

love yourself because nobody can do it better than you.

let's dance under the stars in our own beat and feel the tinkle when we touch

i believe in something called love.

8/01/2009 09:13:00 PM

life has been busy. rather routine. still fairly exciting somehow. with friends like claud jon nat qing and the ltc people, life cannot get very boring can it?

6 weeks to prelim. i dont know if im ready. im trying to be ready. oh well.

just keep pushing and somehow i will get there.

mye results was fairly devastating. still thankful. because in everything give thanks!

i hope this week will be good. or rather i WILL make it good.

every princess needs a knight

i believe in something called love.

7/19/2009 08:45:00 PM

16 weeks. come on sherrie, you can do it.

16 weeks and it'll be ALL OVER. your fate will be decided by then. dont stop pushing yourself.

i believe in something called love.

7/06/2009 09:06:00 PM

money isnt everything.

but there are alot of things you cant get without money

alot of us live in our own little world. even though we think we arent we actually are. having an overly inflated ego and thinking we're "oh so cool" and better than everyone else is living in our own ignorant world. we need to just stop judging. we're only afraid people will judge us when we're judgemental.

think about it, if we do not judge people, we really wont be bothered what people think of us. it's a direct relationship. the more we judge the more afraid we are of judgement because we know the terror and negative side to it. if we dont judge at all, we dont care because we know that judement is not everything.

we're all familiar with the term:

seek to understand before being understood.

but what happens if you understand already and you're trying to justify your stand and try to be understood but people just dont get you?

it hurts. but sometimes i really dont know how to go about doing things. it's frustrating.

i dont know how to exactly say it but yea.

i hope mids result will be good.

tired.

night.

i believe in something called love.

7/01/2009 11:26:00 PM

mids draw nearer and nearer and nearer. i feel the pressure i feel the stress. when stress is coming from one side it isnt so bad. when it comes from many many sides, it just sucks.

if there's one thing i've learnt it's how to play frisbee properly. gwen, michael, josh and qing attempts to teach me everytime we play after studying. actually twice only. but yea.

i obviously suck at sports. i can run jump and punch for nuts. two left feet and no motor skills. oh wells. we're all blessed in different ways i suppose. we're talented in one way or another, but hardly any of us are good in everything.

that's where we learn to love and accept the different talents of people. loving them for who they are and not what they are.

on the other hand, it sucks gaining weight. makes you feel terrible about yourself. when you read macro notes, you feel stupid. when you gain weight and look in the mirror you feel ugly. stupid plus ulgy isnt a very good combination is it?

i need sundress, sunglasses, shopping, ice coco classic with non fat milk and whipped cream, a little sun, some wind and my ipod. that's all i need.

looking forward to next tuesdayyy. cut hair. yes yes yes.

i believe i can flyyyyyyyyy!

i believe in something called love.

6/25/2009 09:26:00 PM

sometimes when you try to make up for things, it's too late. way too late. nothing can be done. sometimes when you try to care, it just goes the other way round.

being 18 isnt easy. neither is it being fat.

i believe in something called love.

6/20/2009 10:18:00 PM

"I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman."

i believe in something called love.

6/19/2009 10:54:00 PM

the ltc facils that spent 4 days together! well not really, it was only the last two days that we went crazy but yea. the amount of nonsense i went through, my goodness.

i believe in something called love.

6/19/2009 10:44:00 PM

the only thing constant is change.

everything in life changes. the way we think the way we view things and the way we feel. but i believe there are a set of fundamentals that will never change. this set of fundamentals determine our strong opinons and values. this set of fundamentals determine the part of our lives we'll never forget.

sometimes we do things we dont want to do. but we have to do it cos we know that if we dont, it's just going to cause misery. but i think in every decision and choice we make, we have to stay true to ourselves. we can decieve anyone and everyone except ourselves.

it's contradicting how we sometimes have to do things we dont want to but stay true to ourselves. i think when i say stay true to ourselves is that whatever choice we make, good or bad, whether we want it or not, let's do it to the best of our ability.

anywayyy, study study study. i've been trying to study. getting in gear already. studied the whole day today. got some econs and geog and lit done. i got 2 weeks to prepare. i feel like im going to die. just hold on for 2 more weeks then i can take a week break before turning on full gear for the marathon towards the A levels.

i really hope i'll be able to improve for mids.

and i hope you're feeling okay. i know nothing i say will help or anything. and since this is the outlet you use to keep track, i shall use this outlet as well.

the first raindrop

i believe in something called love.

6/13/2009 10:54:00 PM

the feeling of being misunderstood kinda sucks doesnt it?

the worst part is when considering if you should clarify yourself and how.
urgh.

but ah forget it. it has no direct impact on me anyway. so why care?

sometimes all we got to do is just ignore and know for ourselves that we havent done anything wrong. so long as we can account to ourselves why do we even bother what people say?

it's when we're afraid of judgement that we care. but then again, if God doesnt judge, who is in the position to place any definite judgement? all other judgements are just speculations and self made proclaimations which God never said yes to.

today at church, it suddenly struck me. we always say we want to walk with God and live spiritual life. but how ready are we? how much time do we spend wth God? we go to church every sunday and expect to be close to God.

sometimes we think too highly of ourselves. i think im very much guilty of it. we feel that we might be better than others. but we constantly forget God's presence and we forget that He can do mighty things that we cant.

unexplainable comfort.

i believe in something called love.

6/07/2009 09:06:00 PM

blithe spirit is oveeerrrr :(

i thought it was pretty good.
oh well.

i miss production.

anyway next week is ltc. looking forward to it!

i believe in something called love.

6/07/2009 12:24:00 AM

i dont like this feeling :(((((

i've been so so happy for quite a while. not much big stumbling blocks to really upset me. and when one thing upsets you everything else seems to upset me too :(

on teevee now is some interview about how human trafficking happens and all. it's really sad how paretns sell their children to survive. and once their children are sold they are forced into prostitution.

i think it's perfectly okay if parents realise they cannot bring up the child and feels that someone out there can do a better job. i kinda applaud them for it. but for goodness sake, do it the right way. go through right means. make sure they are placed in a safe and loving environment.

rahhhh. im just sad nowwww. not exactly angry. just.. not happy :(

i believe in something called love.

5/31/2009 07:07:00 PM

i think it's very obvious that when it comes to "love" i believe in it wholeheartedly. i believe in loving with all my heart and i believe in loving base on how we feel naturally towards a person.

love can make or break you. there's never can be an exact description to describe love. unconditional love is the most amazing feeling i would say. where your heart is just willing to accept that person for whoever he/she is. because you know deep down inside, there's an aspect of this person that just makes you go weak in the knees or makes your heart melt. there's this unexplainable burst of emotions within you and your heart.

it all sounds so cliche and fairytale like. but sometimes it just is. we just have to embrace it. live it. enjoy it. remember it and soak in it.

everything you want to say in one simple touch

i believe in something called love.

5/30/2009 11:29:00 PM

i (attemnpted) to blow some bubbles today! with soap and water. failed. didnt fail like crazy but still failed. i realise i've got a new talent of splashing water! HAHAHAHA.

random stuff. anywayyyy. today was pretty good(: study study study. apple juice. jogging, subway. coffee. yoghurt. zara(: it's been a while since i felt rather carefree. even though exams are coming i think im just gonna do my best and not think about things.

once in a while, all we got to do is trust and have faith. do a free fall and believe that the one that loves you will always be there to catch you, hug you, embrace you and whisper that everything is okay. then kiss you on the forehead, gently but firlmy hold the sides of your face look into your eyes and say 'i love you'

oh, how cliche but comforting.

i believe in something called love.

5/23/2009 09:57:00 PM

CJC DRAMA SOCIETY PRESENTS:

BLITHE SPIRIT

A CJC DRAMA SOCIETY'S JC2 PRODUCTION

Written by famous playwright Noel Coward in 1941, performed to enchant audiences over the world, and now coming to the CJC Performing Arts Centre – ladies and gentlemen, the CJC Drama Society is proud to present our very own production of “Blithe Spirit”!

The production, based on the original play “Blithe Spirit”, follows the life of our hero, Charles Martin (played by Jonathan Chia), a writer who invites Madame Arcarti (played by Celine Chen), a medium, to conduct a séance in his house in the hope of gathering material for his next book. To his great shock and annoyance, she succeeds in summoning the spirit of his temperamental first wife, Elvira (played by Natalina Pereira). To make matters worse, his present wife, Ruth (played by Sherrie Tan) is unable to see or hear the ghost. Other characters involve Edith (played by Anne Belgar), the Martin’s comical maid, and Dr. Bradman (played by Clara Li), a sceptic and family friend of the Martin’s.

A boisterously, joyously theatrical classic from the pen of a quintessentially English wit, you may count on “Blithe Spirit” to tickle you right to the funny bone.

Date: Friday, 5th June 2009
Time: 7.30 PM
Venue: Catholic JC, Performing Arts Centre
Tickets are priced at $10 each

FOR CJCians
Tickets can be purchased though any JC1 or JC2 Drama member or through the ticketing booth in the canteen.
FOR NON CJCians
email me if you want tickets!
sherrie_tan91@hotmail.com

for more details go to www.cjcdrama.blogspot.com

i believe in something called love.

5/17/2009 08:54:00 PM

it feels like.. heaps of my favourte ice cream at the perfect temperature, perfect texture and perfect everything.

i seem to have almost forgotten how it was suppose to feel until you brought it back to life.

it's been such a long time

i believe in something called love.

5/09/2009 11:23:00 PM

thank you claudiaaaaaa. i love you womannn. i know you're the mastermind behind all that happened today! thank youuuu!

thank you chia no ballls. you probably have something to do with it too!

and most importantly,

thank you chan qing huanggggg. i appreciate the effort, thought and everything else! you've made this day extremely special!

naaat. get well soon alright! i miss you!

and everyone else that remembered, thank you. i appreciate it alot.

yes, me too.

i believe in something called love.

5/04/2009 10:00:00 PM

new week. it's gonna be exciting.

i believe in something called love.

4/26/2009 08:38:00 PM

"what kind of a husband am i going to be when i cant even hold my wife's hands?"

"i may not have hands to hold my wife's hands, but when the time comes, i'll be able to hold her heart. i dont need hands to hold her heart"

when i saw this video in school today and i just saw it again, a list of people just ran through my head. how thankful i am to have them in my life. so comfort me, be there for me and just love me for who i am. it's never easy, but love transcends all boundaries.

for what you offer is who you are

i believe in something called love.

4/23/2009 09:26:00 PM

another week gone. new week ahead. let's hope this week will be more productive than the previous one. 5 weeks to mid years. 6 weeks to production. i can already feel the stress level.

on a lighter note! tuesday is free cone day! too bad i'll be busy :(

sugar, it'll never be the same

i believe in something called love.

4/19/2009 09:58:00 PM

i've been pmssing today. to almost everyone i think. dont know why. after shcool decided to try and stop pmssing. so i indulged in a tiramisu at mommy's office got home had oreo. had dinner. had fruits and still felt pmssy :(

pmssy = oversensitive = selfish = bad.

thank God tomorrow is friday. i suddenly feel like a whole load is let off. but then again, slowly, another load will start piling up. before that happens, there are two videos i'd like to post. i'll just post the link.

this one is really heartbreaking. especially for people like me, who never seems to be able to finish my portion of food when given a fixed portion. most of the time is cos i cant eat anymore. but still, maybe i shouldnt take that as an excuse to waste food anymore. it's very very sad and heart breaking.

http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

the second one was shown during econs lect. and it is the epitome of "dont judge a book by it's cover". we judge. all the time. even when we know that it's not something we should do. we still judge base on first impressions. this video will show us that we should never judge a book by it's cover.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

sorry.

i believe in something called love.

4/16/2009 10:08:00 PM

another week. work work work work play work relax. that's how this week is going to be like. im going to set my mind on completing my work. so when i play i can just play without worrying.

time i pushed myself harder. mid year exams are in 6 weeks.

guess whattttt. i have rocky mountain tomorow morninggggg. and im excitedddd. chcolate and marshmallows for breakfast! awesome(:

i believe in something called love.

4/12/2009 09:00:00 PM

you must watch this.

this video highlights 3 main things. of which i will talk about 2.

firstly, nobody is perfect. nobody can define perfect. everyone defines perfect differently. and it is the imprections that define us.

we may try to correct our imperfections to be someone we perceive as perfect. but why? why go through all that just to stray away from who we really are? there's no meaning behind it. just so we can "fit it" and be part of a "group". and in the process of doing so we lose our identity.

and who knows, one day someone might just fall in love with your imperfections?

secondly, how the smallest or maybe the most annoying things matter the most at the end of the day. we tend to remember people for their BIG actions and contributions. but we overlook the small details that make such a big difference. the small difference that makes life so much more comfortable and familiar for us. we overlook and take those for granted.

just today i was thinking about how when im in trouble, i turn to friends and love ones. and i tend to forget God. i forget to turn to God. God is like "the small things in life". it's always there in our life, but all we do is overlook it.

and how thankful i am for a handful of people. people who will be there to listen, comfort and just be there. in a sense, they remind me of God's presence once in a while. it's really amazing how sometimes i just notice God's presence in friends and random people who help me along the way.

turn your eyes upon Jesus.

i believe in something called love.

4/09/2009 11:24:00 PM

you know, sometimes you try, you try to achieve the best you can. not only for yourself but also for others. you appreciate the care and concern of others. you appreciate their advice. you try. you try your best. but the results just dont show. they disaapoint you. and you disappoint people you love.

the feeling hurts. you dont know how to face them. you dont know how to answer to them. you dont know to face yourself.

oh well. i will just keep trying. hoping one day, i will get there.

and i will tell myself that i WILL get there.

i will get there. i will get there. i will get there. i will get there. i will get there.

i believe in something called love.

4/09/2009 10:52:00 PM

click for bigger image

another week. i wasted so much time from last week. i cant do the same this week.

looking back is never wrong. keeping the past as part of your memory is never wrong. just dont let the past get to you. focus on what is in the present and what is ahead.

watching this cna programme. it's about people who are terminally ill and their days are numbered. im so scared. im scared of being alone. im scared of losing a love one.

i dreamt yesterday night of being left alone. and for some funny reason i can remember the feeling so clearly. being alone and lonely. without anyone to fall back on, without anyone to draw support from. it's a scary feeling.

i dont exactly feel like talking about it now. shall go take a nice shower and studyyyy.

i feel like having a pillow fight.

i believe in something called love.

4/05/2009 07:40:00 PM

thank you God for everything and everyone.

i finally have sometime to settle down and think today. been rather busy. trying to study and juggling tons of stuff. when i finally settle down i wonder,

will i never have done things the exact same way i have if given a chance?

and i really dont know. i am happy and i am enjoying everything now. smelling the flowers and admiring the bees. but if i had taken a different route would i have been able to see other types of flowers and insects? metaphorically speaking of course.

i guess that's an answer i'll never get. it's nice to wonder. sometimes wondering gives that tinge of heartache and maybe a little regret. but nontheless, when back to reality, i am still thankful for everything.

all the best. you know you always have my support.

i believe in something called love.

3/31/2009 10:32:00 PM

THIS IS PRETTTTTYYYY(:

i believe in something called love.

3/29/2009 12:35:00 AM

i had ben and jerry's todayyy! and the new burger king burger. awesome(:

i love saturday's. but saturday's always seem so so short! tomorrow's sunday and monday it's back to school.

insensititivity is derived from selfishness. when we're selfish we fail to consider other's but ourselves. our benefits and enjoyment before others. we've always been taught to put others before ourselves. however, i do not think that's the most challenging part. the most challenging part is to put others before ourselves even when they dont put you before them.

to do that, it takes great deal of forgiveness, courage and tolerance. but of course, love is also a major factor. without any of these, it's highly impossible to do so.

the act itself is never enough. more importantly, it's the motive. if the motive is selfish, we're still being selfish. for example if we put someone before ourselves for a selfish reason, then we're not doing it right. we're just"planning".

ultimately, we're still selfish. this form of selfishness is even more scary cos it shows a little of scheming and plotting. we put others before ourselves because of a greater return that will come later on.

putting others before ourselves may be the consequence of many years of brain washing. when that happens, i wouldnt say it's wrong. but i would say it's an insincere act. we're not putting others before ourselves for, again, the right reason. we do so because we are told to do so. not because we want to.

so what then is the driving force? for me, i say love. when you love that person, be it in terms of friendship or relationship, will you then put their interest before yours. because it is through love that you want the best for the other person.

so then if i've been insensitive to how you've been feeling,
then maybe i've never loved you as a friend.
assumptions will be the cause of death.
cos when you assume about things that never was true,
the truth you've overlooked will be the one that kills you.

i believe in something called love.

3/28/2009 11:11:00 PM

it feels as though an earthquake, tornado, hurricane and tsunami came, destroyed and messed up everything, then leaving the mess behind.

that's exactly how it feels.

i believe in something called love.

3/27/2009 11:32:00 PM

school starts tomorrow. the next leg of the race towards the A levels begin.

and my maid is going back in june. so i have two and the half months to learn how to cook and do basic household stuff.

sure die.

sometimes the only way to discover is to get lost

i believe in something called love.

3/22/2009 05:54:00 PM

today was pretty much awesooome!
rained in the morning which kinda annoyed me cos i was wearing white pants.
butttt... i had something else that made me happy in the morning(:

town in the afternoon was wonderful too!
went to toys r us!

the holidays are ending :(

i believe in something called love.

3/20/2009 11:28:00 PM

five things that happened this week:

1. marley&me
2. bbq
3. drama camp
4. shopping - actually i havent bought anything. i've just been seeing alot of nice things.
5. meeting pri school people

i believe in something called love.

3/20/2009 10:14:00 AM

death. it's a taboo topic. many people avoid talking about it. many people avoid thinking about it.

but why would we fear death so greatly?

i never made sense to me why people would fear death.
and today i realise, one of the reasons may be that it's cos many of us are not living life to the fullest.

when say fullest, mean fullest to each persons own deifinition. not the defnition of your parents, teachers or friends, but what we as indivuduals feel is the best.

when our lives are not live to the fullest, we all know we're going to die with regrets. we're not going to be happy with what we've done. thus we dont want to die. cos we want that chance to be able to do what we want.

and since life is unpredictable. you never know when your time is up, why not live life to the fullest you can everyday? of course im not saying to abandon studies and go be merry and have fun. what im saying is, in the process of doing what we have to do (cos we all live in hope that we'll wake up tmr) we should always try and make the best out of whatever we have (cos we never know when our time will be up)

AND I MISS WATCHING GOSSIP GIRL :(

i believe in something called love.

3/15/2009 01:31:00 PM

i realise, there's no point hoping, praying and wishing when what you're hoping, praying and wishing for doesnt seem to show any signs of hope.

i believe in something called love.

3/14/2009 06:38:00 PM

tiring day! went to acm with godma and iris. for the emperor kangxi exhibition. was pretty awesome! then went for lunch at coca. late lunch. i had sooo much to eat. then walked around taka! there's a juicy couture boutique! and and and, there's a VERY VERY pretty handbag!

quite tired. long day tmr!

i hope, i wish, i pray
that what we have
is strong enough
to bring us through this
cos i never want to let this friendship
slip right through my fingers and out of my life
and may the friendship forever be strong.

i believe in something called love.

3/13/2009 09:05:00 PM

cts are ovvvverrrrrrr!

class lunch. super funny. had ice down see ler's uniform annnd claud shot pearls at him. plus ronald mcdonald had his bag. HAHAHA. then shopped with claudiaaaa. we went zara at wheelock, wisma, taka, heeren, cini, far east then wisma again! i bought a dress! and she, being so super fussy didnt buy anything! we walked from like 12 till 6 NON STOP. retail therary was awesome!

I LOVE YOU WOMAN.

im excited for holidays! im going to relax and play! after that back to studying life.
my holidays are already quite packed. but i guess it's good!
no school tomorrow.

tomorrow is godma day(:

catch me before i fall
from you tying my laces together!

i believe in something called love.

3/12/2009 09:40:00 PM

adapting, learning and taking the step forward will never be easy.

but if i dont try i'll forever be stuck in the same position. looking at the same things and never knowing what's ahead.

so at least, try.

i believe in something called love.

3/11/2009 11:02:00 PM

i wonder, i wonder if i'll ever be like that.

or maybe i just shouldnt wonder.

i believe in something called love.

3/06/2009 11:17:00 PM

thoughts thoughts and more thoughts. thousands of emotions running through me as well.

sometimes i wish i couldj ust leave everything behind and not bother about everything. i enjoy moments in the day where i tell myself to forget everything and just enjoy the moment. be happy. and not think about anything.

it doesnt help that some friends that were once so close now seem so.. far.
it doesnt help that i feel so uncertain about everything. studies, family.. etc.
it doesnt help that cts are coming up.

but i guess prayer and knowing i have friends who will be there helps alot.

life is unpredictable. as much as we must work hard so our future is secured, we also must not forget to enjoy the present moments that God has blessed us with.
i try to remember as many wonderful moments as i can in a day. and when im down, i'll just pause everything and reflect upon them. it helps i suppose. helps me feel alot better about life.

or maybe im just asking for too much.

i believe in something called love.

3/06/2009 10:54:00 PM

my back hurts like hell. i havent had my back hurting so much before. everytime i bend it or put strain on my lower back it HURTS. and it's annoying me cos i cant even do simple task properly without feeling any pain :(

i think i was too tired yesterday night and i slept on one side for too long.

common test in 5 days. math test tomorrow. just endure a bit more and i can relax a bit during the march hols.

A level results out on friday.
i cant wait for friday. not only will chinese results be out, i get to see seniors too!
PLUS, i end at 12! (:

im extremely tired.

i believe in something called love.

3/04/2009 09:06:00 PM

it's okay to have half a brain. but it's not okay to not use it.
as mean as that statement sounds, my point is that it's perfectly okay not to have everything in life. it's perfectly okay not to have a perfect life. what is most important is that we are thankful for everything and we do not lament and complain about it too much.

i am extremely happy with my life. i wouldnt change anything about it. but if there's one thing i miss, it'll be the simplcity of life back then.

i miss primary school days. swee min, gillian, sum yi, wendy, ruo yu. where we would just eat, play soccer and do stupid stuff. things like that will live with me forever.

there are many memories that will live with me forever. some bitter, some sweet, some bitter sweet. but ultimately, i believe that i need to appreciate everything and be thankful.

yes i am thankful for you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you and yes, you too.

we've progressed so far in life that we've forgotten how a simple life is really the best. how simplicity is all we need. and how simplcity brings about the greatest happiness. but at the same time, when things get complicated, we know more. more than we should sometimes. sometimes it's good sometimes it's bad.

the heart complicates things. the mind makes complicated even more complicated,

im just typing whatever comes to mind.
irrgardless of simple or not, complicated or not,
thank you to all who has made a difference in my life.

i believe in something called love.

3/01/2009 11:19:00 AM

mighty to save.

i've been replaying that song on my ipod all day. it keeps me going. keeps me happy. had aloooot of choc today. and alot of junk food. gainnnn weight. i get fed almost every morning like a hamster. no wonder im going to gain weighttt.

on another note! today i suddenly remember the thought about not taking control and leaving it to God. sometimes, alot of time rather we try to take control of our lives. we try to be in control. mould things to the way we want it to be. do stuff that will result in a desired outcome. and very often we forget to leave things to God. let Him plan let Him decide. when we do so, we increase our dependency on God. we take a step back and may understand things better. when we put our dependence on God we build the relationship we have with God. at the same time we get to see where God wants to bring us.

He can move the mountains.

i believe in something called love.

2/26/2009 09:34:00 PM

uncertainty.

it gives the sense of fear. yet it also gives the element of surprise.

nothing beats knowing that your friends have your back and you have theirs.

i believe in something called love.

2/24/2009 09:07:00 PM

study study studyinggggg.
the smell of starbucks is on my jacket. i somehow like the smell.

14 days to ct. focus sherrie, focus.

i believe in something called love.

2/23/2009 10:11:00 PM

sore throat :(

i believe in something called love.

2/22/2009 05:03:00 PM

today, i thank the Lord for many things.

especailly for the presence of close friends and for allowing me to get the role in drama.

but yet at the same time, today i will pray for guidance and courage. for wisdom and a mature mind. that i may handle everything that comes my way well and bearing Him in mind. what would He do.

for the flowers, and everything you've done, thank you.
for the support, encouragement, assurance and comfort when i needed it, thank you.
for being my best girlfriend, thank you.
for reminding me to have faith, thank you.
for silently being there all the time, thank you.

for being my bitchy friend, thank you.

i believe in something called love.

2/18/2009 09:02:00 PM

heart to heart talk with kattttt. i loooove you meow!

we day dreamed and talked about the impossible wishing it was possible.
oh well. let's hope that everything will go well for us. and our vera wang gown dream will come true!

i wish i wish i wish i can say everything i wanna say without worrying about the consequences. but no, our world is built around different people we love in our lives. every action we do will affect them. let's hope i'll have enough courage one day to clear up the mess. and hopefully everything will turn out well.

i know something you dont.

i believe in something called love.

2/15/2009 07:01:00 PM

valentines is over.
the week ahead is going to be full of obstacles and uncertainty.
insecurity is what will break me down.

but i will have to face all of it. there's no way i can run. face it and accept it.

i believe in something called love.

2/15/2009 12:03:00 AM

as kat puts it, "absolutely love the rings sher qing & i got. bask in the magic of friendship this v-day when no one has yet captured your heart"

as qing puts it, "the power of friendship"

this year's v-day will be different, but special. i will assume 14th feb happens twice. spending it with friends will always be different from spending it with the one. but nonetheless, it will be special cos i'm spendning it with special friends!

i believe in something called love.

2/10/2009 10:10:00 PM

our spirit and life is strong enough to tolerate the worst conditions on earth.
it is strong enough to tell ourselves to achieve what we want badly.
it is strong enough to hold on to the very end.

but at the end,
it is so fragile that when it's time, it has to go.
leaving behind everyone dear and everything precious.

i try my best to love everyone everyday. to treasure every moment i have with them. because i never know, we never know when it'll be the last time. not everyone has a "next time". some people might not. we may control everything in our life but we'll never be able to control our fate.

you know i love you and you and you and you and you and you.
and family.

i believe in something called love.

2/08/2009 06:38:00 PM

and the wall just grows
bit my bit it grows
covering your legs slowly
eventually it will cover your knees,
then your stomach,
then your heart
and eventually your whole being.

apart as two individuals. breaking and then losing what we had between us.

weird emotions. dont know why. sleepy. tired.

hold me tight and tell me how you feel.

i believe in something called love.

2/04/2009 09:31:00 PM

when living in a world of uncertainty, fear kicks in.

the fear of.. basically everything.

i believe in something called love.

2/02/2009 08:32:00 PM

just after i posted i thought about what i just typed. and realise, sometimes we think people are changing because we are changing.

it's like, we change but other people dont. thus other people appear to change.
this is mainly due to the lack of self awareness i guess.

i seem to blog rather frequently these days.
maybe it's cos i dont want to weigh people down by turning to them and telling them everything that's on my mind.

oh wells.
sleepy.

i believe in something called love.

2/01/2009 04:32:00 PM

people change, all the time. what happens when we feel that people close to us are changing? what are we to do?

we change, all the time. so then when can we stop and ask ourselves if this change is what we want?

i just wish.. we can all stay true to ourselves.

i believe in something called love.

2/01/2009 01:00:00 PM

at a time like this i really dont know what to do.

i just feel like, staying out of the house. away from everyone at home.

urgh.

i believe in something called love.

1/31/2009 05:08:00 PM

this will be my 1,101 post on my blog.
things hasnt been easy. but i suppose life isnt meant to be good. when we feel that life is good, it's a bonus. only that way will we learn to treasure everything and everyone around us. if we assume that life is suppose to be good then we'll never be appreciative of anything. and when life sucks, we will feel that it's unfair. God has been very fair to us if we're able to be here, online, healthy and alive. everything else is merely a bonus.

thank you to all those who were there when i needed them.
thank you to all those who will be there when i need them.
piggy, claud, qing and jon.

when everything felt shaky, you were the ones that held me, made me feel safe and secure and told me things will be okay because i have you.

when things went down for me, you all were the ones that made it feel like it was getting better because i have you.

when i was upset and only tears could represent how i was feeling, you were the ones who sat there not doing anything but i know you were listening to every sob.

when things were hard to bear, you were the onese that was there to share the load with me.

when everything seemed dark, you were the ones that provided the light for me to take one step at a time.

for everything you all have done, im extremely grateful, thankful and appreciative.

i believe in something called love.

1/29/2009 09:10:00 PM

school starts tomorrow. once i again i have to readjust myself to school mode after days of fun.

there really isnt anything much to look forward in school except for friends except for people who sit next and around me in class makes the day so much easier and certain people whom i occasionally see around school that just lights up my life for that moment and reassures me with a hug.

school. jason going army. no sleep over till march. A levels. for now it looks like a emotional downhill for me. i really hope it'll be better.

i'll hold your hand and stand by you.

i believe in something called love.

1/27/2009 06:41:00 PM

shopping on saturday with katrinaaaaa.
waited for qing.
had crab salad and iced chocolate and banana spin from spinelli
went to ps.
had dinner at cafe cartel.
watched bride wars.
came back to my place.
played cards.
got hyper.
talked.
shared.
slept.
morning went airport for ya kun and walked around.

one of the best sleepovers so far. it wasnt crazy or anything. just really memorable.
i feel like i've known them since i was young<3

i believe in something called love.

1/25/2009 10:57:00 PM

i've got a bad habit coming back. over reliance on friends. or maybe i've always been that way just that it's getting worst. i dont know. somehow im just afraid to be lonely sometimes. im afraid that the friendship will just disappear or something. it's like a whole general problem i have with myself.

and i think i've got an obsession with getting hugs from friends. maybe it's a good thing. oh well.

short post. busy week.

chinese new year.

and you melt my hear oh so much.

i believe in something called love.

1/21/2009 08:47:00 PM

this week, i reflected and thought about friendship. i was about to post my thoughts and reflections about it. but just before this i was at a blog and read something which made me feel really awful and kinda set me thinking.

so i realise it's my last year in jc. i should do al i can to build strong lasting friendships. so i decided to do so this week. putting more effort into friendships that mean alot to me. just as i was all happy and thought things were going well, i had to read someone's blog. which totally screwed up my mood. urgh.

you may love people as a friend. go all out to do something you feel is special for them. but in the end, maybe they will not remember and appreciate it.

i know we should always do something without expecting anything in return. but it's not about expecting anything in return, it's about knowing that you;re important to that person.

imagine if you did something, people did somethning else. that person remembered everything the other person did excpet what you did. it would pretty much suck wouldnt it?

i dont know if you understand. im just feeling rather upset and confused right now.
it's almost like i dont matter.

oh well. maybe it was wishful thinking on my part. when i thought the friendship meant alot. alot more than alot of friendships, i realise, hey maybe i dont mean as much to you as you do to me.

or maybe to some people, effort and sincerity doesnt matter. it's the grandness and the scale of it.

i know im being overly sensitive somehow. but when something makes my whole body just sink, i believe it's got some issues.

oh well :(

i believe in something called love.

1/17/2009 09:52:00 PM

i lovw this song.
specially for you love(:

Dear God, please be with me as my year officially starts. be with me as i juggle various aspects of life. be with us as my love ones travel and not be physically with me. may i understand the purpose of many of Your actions and may i make use of the time i have to do the best i can for my A levels. may the result be the path you have planned and may everyone, including myself, understand the purpose of Your plans. blass my friends and myself as we face various challenges this year. Amen.

and every night i thank you God for sending you to love me.

i believe in something called love.

1/10/2009 11:28:00 PM

school's starting. im partially excited partially nervous and scared. A levels this year. trying to mentally motivate myself as much as i can.

this is it. the exam of my life. i know we hear it at every major exam. but this really is it. if i fail this exam, what's going to happen to my life?

just eleven months.
eleven months of "suffering" and my life will more or less be set.
i hope, months later, when i fall, which i definitely will, i can look back at this post and pick myself up again.

i did it for O levels. i must be able to do it again. no skiving. so in order to do that, im going to try setting some rules.

2.5 hours of studying every weekday.
6 hours on weekends.
no internet except for friday and saturday night.
no more than one hour of teevee.

it sounds so unrealistic. but i shall TRY.
i really need this exam to work out.

i believe in something called love.

1/07/2009 06:43:00 PM

the year is ending! so fassssst. so, as i always do, i would want to thank a few people who has made this year an amazing one!

godma, mommy, mommy meiling, iris, charles, krystal..etc. (the whole maternal family)
the endless saturday fun and festive fun never fails to make me look forward in life and keep me going. thank you for the endless amount of fun and for always giving in to me. all of you are irreplaceable. and a short of any of you makes a big big difference.

kat, qing, maggie, cheng
my first few friends in cj! for me, the first 3 days in school were the best days for me. shouting and screaming and whining with maggie! thankfully until today, we still meet and catch up! i miss you people a whole lot and somehow wish we'll be in the same class!

claudia phua
womannnnn. thank you for being a great friend! seeing you almost everyday and hearing your voice has made me a more tolerant person! hahaha. im kidding. i really enjoy your company and showers after PE!

jon chia
gay friend. thank you for always being there. at my up and down moments in school. for giving rationale advice and helping me look at the other side of things.

nat
we've been through quite a bit. hopefully things do not change and we dont stop here.

last but not the least,
JASON, thank you for always being there to support me in every decision i make. telling me i am the best even though results or people think i am the worst. for being a listening year and holding me hand as we walked through the year. i wake up every morning wondering what you are doing. i sleep every night thinking of you. smiles, tears, frustration, anger.. etc. we've been through it all. those meaningful kisses and beeping of the phone are all indications and landmarks of development of our relationship. i wouldnt exhange anything we've had for anything else. it hasnt been easy, but we got through it. a new journey awaits us. hopefully we'll be strong enough. may God be our guiding star <3

i believe in something called love.

12/30/2008 10:54:00 PM

my dad often says
"dont need to enjoy now, you'll get chances in the future"
"dont need to go today, you'll get better chances in future"

now, today, immediatly - these are the words that my father will never believe in. to him, study, piano, study, piano is the most important. so long as we excel in studies we'll have plenty of chances to "enjoy" in the future.

however this "enjoyment" is usually with friends of MATERNAL family.
i strongly believe, that while enjoying we also learn many thingd and create many precious memories from it. it's not just fun that happens, it's the valuable lessons. when out with friends we learn to give in, accomodate and not just think of ourselves. when with family, we learn the importance of family support and bonding.

so long as we dont explore, we'll never know what chances are out there for us to grab. so long as we keep ourselves in that tiny box, we'll never know what's outside. and forever we'll believe that the box is the world.

somehow, he just doesnt understand. he'd rather we stay at home, PRETEND to read something or STUDY. oh my gosh. i feel so caged up and suffocated. i dont mind staying at home. but i HATE being forced to stay at home. lies lies and more lies he gets. sometimes i think he knows that we're lying to him. but he cant catch us for it. doesnt he ever ask himself why we even bother to lie to him? doesnt he ever wonder why at this point in his life, other than his wife and maybe his children, nobody will help him?

he says, so long as you have money, people will help you. help? or assist? help with a heart or assist with a motive? i dont know how he thinks. and i believe that there's some fault in his way of thinking that i will never pass on to my children.

even though there is some truth. but i still object to it. cos weighing it out objectively, being locked up at home with NOTHING to do can never be better than being outside, learning something while having fun.

when i say nothing i mean nothing. watch tv, he scold. internet, he scold. there's a limit to how much baking i can do. and all he wants is to see us study.

sigh. i cant wait till im 21. where im free from all his nonsense and control.

i believe in something called love.

12/29/2008 09:42:00 PM

i've been extremely snappy and grumpy these two days. i dont know why. maybe it's pms or the fact that christmas is over.

urgh.

i believe in something called love.

12/29/2008 05:03:00 PM

some of us have the fear of death and some of us dont.

death is something we cannot escape from. the way in which we die is also inevitable. now, im not saying that being afraid to die is wrong. im just stating my point of view.

since we cannot predict neither will we be able to prevent, why should we worry? we might be able to prolong. such as if we have a terminal illness, taking medication might help. but eventually, we have to face it.

when we fear. we hide from it and try to escape. however. when we dont, we tend to be more brave. to do things. because death will never hold us back.

we can die in doing ANYTHING, even breathing. if we're going to let death stop us from having a fulfilling and rich life, then there's not much meaning to living is there?

i know people who are afraid of the rain because their afraid they will fall ill and eventually die. but do you know how amazing it feels to be in the rain and let the raindrops splatter on you?

im not saying to do things that will cause death on purpose. we of course prevent it as much as we can. but there has got to be a line as to which we prevent. take being in the rain for example. after being in the rain, of course we have to take a nice warm shower and not go into an air con room and have an ice cream. now that's what i call people who dont love themself.

anyway, it's a very big topic to blog about. everyone has different views. im not saying any is wrong, im just say, live life to the fullest.

as nike put it, just do it.

even if i died, i wouldnt leave you behind.
simply because my heart is with you,
and your heart will not be alone.

i believe in something called love.

12/27/2008 10:27:00 PM

i've had a wonderful Christmas.
from the great food to the endless mahjong sessions to the touching present Jason has gotten me.. i really enjoyed every second of Christmas.

im sad it's over. i'll have to wait another 365 days before it comes again.

i believe in something called love.

12/27/2008 12:19:00 AM

sore throat :(

i believe in something called love.

12/16/2008 06:55:00 PM

my new year and christmas revolution:
in no order

1.to understand my brother more.
2. do my best for A levels and let nothing distract me or get in my way.
3. get closer to God.

i believe in something called love.

12/15/2008 09:56:00 PM

jason's back! YAY.
i've got a busy busy week ahead.

last week was on cruise with family, so it was good! not much pictures. one or two of them is on facebook.

christmas oh christmas!

our love will stand the test of time.

i believe in something called love.

12/15/2008 09:46:00 PM

7 years. we've been friends for seven years. it's amazing how friends truly are. they can meet twice a year and have endless things to talk about when they meet. how change but never really do change. how we just click and connect.

i miss primary school days. we've come a long long way. and nothing beats a good cup of starbucks with people i grew up with. how everyone seems so familiar. and how it seemed like we never did part. sadly, not all could make it. but i guess it was still fun. time well spent.

these people played a big part in making me what i am today. LOUD.
we have people starring at us talk cos we're so so loud.

it's wonderful how we all had to go our seperate ways after primary a nd secondary school but yet when we get together it's like primary school all over again.

im just thankful.
swee min, sum yi, gillian, stacey, ruo yu and wendy.
we grew up together. and may we carry on growing and learning the way of life together.
you people make every minute amazing. the amount of laughter is just irreplaceable.

i believe in something called love.

12/13/2008 11:04:00 PM

how many of us are guilty of looooving those animal performances we see at the zoo or birdpark?

or how many of us just loove the circus? i remember being at the moscow circus once!

i know i once was. and once in a while i still am.

today it occurred to me, these animals go through training just so they can perform. they either get hit so they will obey or their not given food. food is only given when they've performed to satisfaction.

we do all that to animals without thinking, do they have feelings? of course they do! if they didn't they wouldnt protect their little ones when someone tries to harm them right? they would wail and whine when their hit. neither would they be able to tear if they didnt have feelings.

so we train them just so they can satisfy us. so let us attempt to put us in their shoes. we can train and we have the power to train cos human is the most powerful animal around. imagine if we had a more powerful being. one that could conrol, eat, capture and use us for lab test. and they trained us for their satisfaction. hit or starve us. how would we feel? probably not very good.

on the surface, it may seem like they train the animals nicely. they feed them shower them and praise them. but behind the scenes, nobody knows. at the end of the day, the animals are just for entertainment. they become a spectacle for humans.

i never am a fan of animals. except for my cousins's rabbit. im scared of them and i dont really come into close contact with them. but it just came to mind today that hey, are we neglecting something?

falling in love with you, again(:

i believe in something called love.

12/04/2008 11:25:00 PM

i came across a video on face book. kc girls on mission trip. the video is amazing. i'll see if i can get my hands on it and post it here. one particular quote on that video struck me.

every person is someone's baby.

that is so so true. when we bitch and do evil, we do it with intention. the intention to harm that person and maybe other people in one way or another. but we never ever remember and take note that we hurt their parents too. each child is deeply loved by their parents. so parent's their children will always be their baby. and by hurting their baby we indirectly hurt them too. who is, most of the time an innocent party.

to each parent, their children, their baby is their life. the will do their best to provide and protect them.

i dont know. for me to finally realise that when i hurt someone im hurting the parents too causes a certain ache in me. because i know that i will never want anyone to hurt my parents. directly or indirectly.

i believe in something called love.

11/30/2008 12:31:00 AM

i am annoyed.

i cant access my email or facebook.
urgh. something wrong with the computer or what.
someone help.

i believe in something called love.

11/29/2008 03:28:00 PM

today i want to note something. i will note it through a short story.

if 30 years ago, a guy lent/gave you 45cents to take a bus. or whatever the amount was back then, to take a bus for your interview because you had no money. and becuase of that 45cents, you were not late and got the job. today, you're a ceo of a major company, earn five figure sum. and you meet the person that lent you the money. will you pay him back 45cents or more? im talking about just monetary terms. but any other aspect. like if he needed help.. etc.

one more thing, obligation and transaction is two different thing. this may sound really puzzling, but it makes exact sense to me.

if a circle represented me on paper. and i had to draw my father on the paper in relation to our relationship and how well he knows me, i'll draw it on the flip side. why? cos he's exactly like me, but he doesnt know himself.

give and dont expect anything in return.
to survive in my house, live by that rule.

my fault for that.
but not my fault for others.

i believe in something called love.

11/27/2008 09:56:00 PM

I HAD AN AMAZING DAY.
thank you Jason.

every night, before i sleep i try to pray:
Our Father,
Who is in heaven,
Holy is Your Name;
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
as we forgive those who sin against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

i noticed that particular pink line.
"and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us"
and i realised it means that, we ask God for forgiveness. for Him to forgive us the way we would forgive people we felt have done us wrong. so technically, how much God forgives us is directly proportionate to how much we forgive people.

forgiving is never easy. forgetting or choosing to forget is even harder. that's an obstacle we all face. but God forgives willingly and forgets. He never gets back at us for what we did in the past. so this word "revenge" should not exist for us if we really want God to forgive us for our sins.

does it make sense to you?
it somehow makes alot of sense to me.

oh happy day(:

i believe in something called love.

11/24/2008 10:11:00 PM

anywayyyy. about yesterday ! jason came over in the morning. we did almost nothing. just wasting time. then went to watch 007 which i fell asleep in. then walked around. and suddenly i hear a familiar "omg".

yes yes yes ! claudia phuaaaaaa. so claud and collin with jason and i decided to visit jon chia ! quite nice seeing all of them after a while. the whole familiar comfortable feeling just set it. and i felt so.. free and happy.

so we went to look for that idiot chia. and laughed and planned lunch and laughed some more !

i look back and i do not regret choosing cj. CLAUD and JON, both of you are amazing friends. and i cant wait to get back to school so we can get retarded againnnn!

yayness.

i believe in something called love.

11/20/2008 09:19:00 PM

no no no.
it's over for jason and me meaning the A levels is over.
not that we are over.
hahah. yes. misunderstanding cleared.

i believe in something called love.

11/20/2008 08:59:00 PM

the A levels are over. or at least for jason and i it's over. it feels like a whole baggage off my shoulder. it's like an indirect pressure. it's still a pressure nonetheless.

anyway, im no more a brace face!
yes yes yes. i've took my braces off!
pretty teeth!

when kisses become part of daily life.

i believe in something called love.

11/18/2008 09:32:00 PM

spending more time with special friend has made me feel happier these days.
but im sad too. a car ran over my ipod. oh well.

CLAUDIA PHUA- if you read this, let's go out soon. i miss you alot alot.

KATRINA WONG/QING HUANG - if you read this, sentosa ! cheng say she can go !

i miss school. i miss my friends.

i believe in something called love.

11/16/2008 05:29:00 PM

i dread tomorrow morning.

dear God, be with me.

so that i wont be alone.

i believe in something called love.

11/11/2008 10:00:00 PM

is feeling..
like shit,
bitter,
upset,
hurt,
irritated,
frustrated,
neglected,
annoyed,
confused,
puzzled,
tormented,
tortured,
angry,

a reason to just let it all go? pretend it never happened. smile and be happy. accept everything without saying a word and just carry on with life. step in there with pride when pride is hurt. step in there smiling when everything just seems unfair and unjust. step in there smiling at a bitch whom i feel like slapping?

where's everyone when i need someone?

emo you might want to call it. i've been running away from it. looks like it's catching up with me. time to face it. but i don't want to. yet i have to.

when you feel like hope is gone look inside you and be strong.
strong?
how strong am i suppose to be?
hold on with all my might?
do my best and get neglected?
let my best be the service i give and everything else worth nothing?

yes i feel bitter. i dont deny.
hopefully bitter enough to one day tell you to fuck off.

i believe in something called love.

11/10/2008 11:14:00 PM

heard this on maggie's blog.

specially for you love.

i believe in something called love.

11/10/2008 01:07:00 AM

too little too late.

im blog hopping and somehow at every other blog i get this weird heart ache.
kc thought me alot. it changed and transform my life. i took alot from kc. i took everything i needed except maybe friendships.

i look back and every part of the jigsaw is filled except friendships. i know people. but i never built any solid friendships with anyone. weird. even now when i look at my life. solid friendships are so very few. it's so weird because it contradicts my so called "outgoing" personality. but i realise "outgoing" is only a front i put up. inside maybe im not that outgoing. maybe i just take really long to get comfortable to someone or the environment. it's just really weird.

the "outgoing" front vs the "not so outgoing inside.
front wins.

i believe in something called love.

11/06/2008 07:18:00 PM

i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia i miss claudia.

WOMANNNN. WE NEED TO GO SHOPPING AGAIN.

towned with kat and wing yesterday. bought a bag. after that jia jian and kat's friend joined us and we watched HSM3 !
we need to go out again !

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE KAT(:
QING, i would say the same if ur a girl. but ur a guy ! hahaha. so... yea.

i believe in something called love.

11/05/2008 08:49:00 PM

sometimes i wonder, when something happens, what/who do we think of first ?
the victim ?
the community ?
or ouselves ?

chances are we would think of ourselves first. that is what exactly is happening. somehow the thoughts of others seem to differ from mine ? do i over worry about everyone else and myself. or is everyone else just too stressed to pause and take a step back.

i feel terribly upset and disturbed. im not saying im an angel thinking about others first. but i always thought that besides ourselves, we should think of others too. if it will be to our benefit at the expense of others, is it worth it? i dont know.

i'll elaborate some other time. for now, OP.

i believe in something called love.

10/30/2008 09:09:00 PM

im in a lousy mood today. i dont know why. i just dont feel right. it feel kinda.. weird.

maybe cos i havent been too prayerful. i've been too caught up with my own life and what to do with it and i forget God.

maybe cos i havent seen piggy in so long.

maybe cos A level chinese is coming up.
i kinda miss chinese tuition at jiang.

maybe cos im craving for macs.

maybe cos i need shopping.

maybe cos i havent gotten over stuff.

maybe cos i dont know.

so many things seem to be happening that i cant seem to quieten down and just.. be at peace.

i believe in something called love.

10/28/2008 07:12:00 PM

i fear the A levels.

i believe in something called love.

10/19/2008 06:00:00 PM